When I faced the fact that I am having a hearing loss, there where thousands of thoughts rushing through my mind at a split second. I felt terrified, scared, vulnerable, fragile, and I realized my life would never be again what it once had been like. I felt afraid of that one of my senses were starting to fade, and what it would mean for my future life. What does it feel like living with a disability and how would it affect my life?
Will it be possible to continue work as a sound engineer – for us, the hearing is our most important tool. Or would I need to give up the career I have been building the last 25 years?
Music is not only my job, it is my everything. It is my main interest, my hobby and what I do 24/7. What would my life be without music?
I can’t imagine a life without music. I have so much more I want to do and explore in my work with music, I am not finished and ready at all!
My first memory as a child is all about music. My forever dream about working with music as an adult. Now I am in the middle of my work life, and are living very much the life that I always dreamed about. Music is something my whole life are built and shaped around. Music is what I do in my spare time (when I have some). Music is what I am dreaming about in my sleep. Music is my everything in life. Nothing is more important in my life than music.
Do I have to quit working with music now?
If I can’t trust my ears anymore it feels like my sound career has come to an end. Who would like to work with a sound engineer with hearing loss? Who would like to hire a sound engineer with hearing aids?
Is it even possible to continue work as a sound engineer when wearing hearing aids?
I can’t be the only sound engineer with a hearing loss, there must be other people in my situation before me.
Now when I have to realize that I am having a hearing loss, which is a disability, I feel that I needed to find out how other people are dealing with this situation. To seek information how to deal with it. I am totally aware that I can’t be the only sound engineer in the world with a hearing loss, so there got to be tons of information out there on how to deal with the situation.
As a freelancing sound engineer, I don’t have a manager or boss that I can talk to about my work-related health issues. I don’t have any close coworkers other than my dear wife and business partner in our company to discuss occupational injuries.
I started to feel very lonely, that I was left alone with this problem, and no one that could help me or even discuss my situation. I just did not know where to start. Do I need to inform some kind of organization or insurance, to make the best out of my situation – how does this work?
The only external source of information I had access to was google.
In most cases that involves my life as a freelancer, I have a positive feeling of doing things on my own. I like to be the lone wolf, without having the same coworkers around me every day, and I love to meet new environments and people for each gig. To handle things on my own, and to find innovative solutions on my own.
But at this point, I felt really alone with my disability. I felt left behind, and that me and my wife didn’t have any support from any other instance of the society. This time it was not a good feeling of being the lone wolf in my working life.