Facing the fact of my hearing loss
When I arrived back home from Audionomkliniken Serafen in Stockholm, my head started to spin in thousand different directions. I thought about the audiogram and what the doctor had told me. Since i work as an audio engineer, I understand what the audiogram is showing me and could understand that it was really bad. And I tried to communicate with the doctor and the audiologist on a professional level, talking about frequency response, comb filtering effects, distortion, compression and had a really technical talk about my hearing.
I don’t know if the nurse and the doctor thought that it was easy to talk to a sound engineer like me that understand sound and frequency charts. Or if it is even more troublesome with people like me that “think” they understand sound from an audiologist’s point of view.
I have understood that this can be troublesome for some audiologists. I have seen podcast episodes for audiologist where they give tips to other audiologists on how to deal with annoying sound engineer’s (like me) that think they know everything about sound… I realize now that the they were talking about people like me…
What struck me when I came home, was that I had not heard the doctor give me a clear verdict on what status my hearing had. She never told me – “you have a hearing loss” or something like that. And I did not get an answer on if the problem where an occupational injury or if it could be related to my previous Covid infection and maybe be restored to some degree. All that the doctor told me was that I should make an appointment to test out hearing aids.
Of course, I understood that my hearing was in a bad shape, but did I have what could be described as degraded hearing or not?
Did I have an occupation injury, or was it temporary as an effect of the covid infection?
Exactly what was the physical problem with my hearing, is it the hair cells (that I’ve heard about) or something else?
I felt like I was kept hanging in the air without any clear answers on what’s going on with my hearing. When visiting a doctor, you want clear and precise answers on what’s going on, not just – take this pill, or use this device.
So, I called the doctor to get some answers.
The Doctor’s Statement
I contacted the doctor at Serafen on the phone, to get a statement of what the official medical statement of my hearing actually was.
The doctor explained to me that I was having a bilateral sensorineural hearing loss (SNHL). She explained very simplified that it was the hair cells in the cochlea that had been damaged. The reason where most likely by “sound induced noise”. Yepp, “sound induced noise” that is the medical term for “loud music”.
The audiologist also made a statement about the status of my hearing, and it was:
“The patient has today, 2021-09-02, done a hearing examination at Serafens Specialistmottagning at Serafafimenlansarettet in Stockholm. The result of this measurement shows a hearing loss that affects the frequency range 3-8 kHz. The hearing loss is bilateral and affects both the right and left ear.
The hearing impairment affects the patient’s treble perception both in terms of speech and sound signals. This affects in group conversations and the patient’s perception of consonants. The hearing impairment also affects the patient’s profession as a large part of the work consists of sound and music management.
A recommendation would be to try a pair of car hearing aids to amplify the reduced frequency range 3-8 kHz. This is to improve speech comprehension but also to improve opportunities within the work.”
Finally – there I had it!
The statement is loud and clear. And it is no question at all that I from now on can consider myself as a person with hearing loss.
Period.
It is strange, but at the same time as it felt terrible to read these words, it also felt like a relief. Now I know the status of my hearing and it was no questions at all about it anymore. I don’t have to guess, or make assumptions anymore.
I know now that I am dealing with a hearing loss.
I know now that I will need to wear hearing aids for the rest of my life.
I know now that my hearing will never get any better.
I know now that I have to deal with my hearing loss and create new routines in my life.
I know now, that i am a person with a disability
Now I was ready to take the next step in my new journey.